Welcome to the Schlumpsville Community Hall for auditions for Roger Seahorse’s new self-written musical ‘Veronica and the Time-Travelling Tiara’. 

In this show, the audience are the auditionees at the cattle call. This begins before the audience are even in their seats, with Paula, the awkward community volunteer with a heart of gold, welcoming auditionees to the hall (warning them to take care of the freshly polished floor). We then meet the stars of our show – writer-director Roger Seahorse, and leading lady Victoria Beauvoir. Both hilariously nail the camp self-congratulation we’ve all seen from someone in a small theatre company.

Our director and leading lady put the hopeful auditionees through their paces with significant audience participation including singalongs, a lesson in Roger’s new ‘Swan Language’, devised specifically for this production, and a solo piece for the dashing would-be leading man, Drainder the Swan Prince.

This show knows its niche and leans into the chintz of the am-drams. The performance is packed with tropes of community theatre: too many costumes to be hand sewn by one poor costumier, the leading lady who threatens to take her talents elsewhere, and the return of the prodigal actor (who may or may not have a personal history with someone else in the production).

The cast commit fully to their characters with an extra serve of ham. As Roger Seahorse, Laura Trennery embodies the puffed-up poncery of the sort of creative who might write a show needing a cast of 73. As Victoria Beauvoir, Patrick Dwyer is the perfect diva, demanding the leading man be cast according to her requirements. Dwyer also displays a magnificent falsetto voice in the show’s musical numbers. Lucy Fox plays the remaining roles with fun character voices and silly choreography.

The Beryls have produced a hilarious parody that both celebrates and gently mocks the world of community theatre. Cattle Call is a joyful, laugh-out-loud experience for theatre folk and supporters alike.